What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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