i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
