You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
