I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
