sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
