based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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