just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
