he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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