so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
