I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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