I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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