end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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