Pants 0. Shit 1.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
