Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
