Are we in a gay sports bar?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize