Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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