Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
