yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
