I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
