so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
