Got a toothbrush?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
