she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
