Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
