My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
