My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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