I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
