I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
