I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
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I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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