My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
