your thong is hanging out like whoa
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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