i just wanna soil my oats bro
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
