Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
