He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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