1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
