I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
