i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize