I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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