have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
