I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
