I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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