if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
