the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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