well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
