I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
