I will die if light touches me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
