ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize