he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
