I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
