used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
