How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
