I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize