Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
