nut hugger
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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