Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
