i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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