Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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