All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
