hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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