New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
