And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
