If that was your dad, he is hot
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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